Do you enjoy cheating on your spouse? If so, why?

I didn’t leave her because, financially, we were stretched beyond our means. We both wanted the best opportunities for our two kids. We lived in a great school district, with a high standard of living. I knew that if we divorced, the financial strain would impact our children’s future. They wouldn’t have had the same opportunities to develop and thrive if we were broke, bankrupt, and living apart due to the cost of divorce and divided assets.

To all the women reading this, I’m sure the bashing will begin. But you wanted an honest answer, and this is it. I’m not saying it was ‘right,’ but it is the truth. Yes, it was shameful behavior. If I could go back, I’d choose differently. I would have chosen divorce. And if I could go back even further, I wouldn’t have married her in the first place.

What frustrated me even more was that I had to initiate everything, every single time. I was always the one making the effort—lighting candles, playing soft music, giving foot rubs—only to be met with indifference. It was exhausting to constantly have to suggest or ask for intimacy, trying not to come across as a pervert. The way she avoided the issue when I gently brought it up was almost comical; she’d act like a shy little girl, avoiding eye contact as if the conversation was too much for her to handle. And everything had to be perfect for there to be even a chance— the house spotless, the mood just right. Even then, it would happen maybe one time out of five.

Hello,hope y'all doin good, i came to Quora to share my strange story , a very weird one , a story when luck smiled at me ,maybe u will enjoy it , let's begin,have fun... A year ago ,I was a real porn addicted(btw I was 18) ,but never had sex before, I don't have a gf I didn't try to find one even ,always thinking to go to find a sex worker but then I just don't , everyday watching different bodies getting fucked and everyday enjoying. One day, I was watching porn, a big ass lady with big boobs ,just after seeing her the image of my female cousin poped in my mind, (let's introduce her : she's 35 years old , very big ass , nice boobs ,not very big but nice,always wearing tight clothes , she's divorced ) and I thought of me fucking her ,I never had sexual desires for her but now I do days went by and when I met her I was so horny ,I couldn't stay with the family cz my penis was clearly erected , I realized this is my first time I get horny for one of my family ,it not illegal in my country.well to make a long story short( if u want details just text me I will tell u 😊),I decided to give her signs that I want to fuck her,finally I decided to have sex and with my cousin , I thought it is the best beggining for me, i started touching her when I came across her in a narrow place , make her feel my hard cock when we hug , I thought it will hard and I will be ashamed but no , I felt nothing and she said nothing , probably she thought it was by mistake,anyways, I decided then to talk with her about sex, waited for her to be alone in a room and talk with her, I confessed everything about me watching porn and addicted..etc,she said it's normal and u are growing up and u must have sex,well at that time I was like whaaat????? Well I didn't control myself and asked her for sex ( horny like I Ve never been before) she said that she will think Abt it ,2 weeka went by then she called me ,telling that she reserved a room in a hotel and we meet tonight ,we met,and bruuhh, sex is great , I mean, I had to find a pirstitue ,what I was waiting for to have such a feeling ????, I will never forget that night, I started kissing her she was kissing hard ,she misses sex so bad , she sucked my dick and swallowed my semen ,I felt I'm in a dream , then when fucked ,her ass was very big and the anus was open ,didn't struggle to get my hard cock inside it , she was obviously missing sex , she was shouting ,fuck me yh fuck me , I go fast after every word until I cum , we did that 3 times , then we went to her pussy , using condoms I fucked her so hard the moans were higher , everything was perfect ,in the end I asked her to lick her body , licked pussy ,ass, boobs,then she sucked my cock until we sleeped ,all I know that she was dirty ,well before even having sex with her I knew she is an open minded woman , and a woman that looks that she donesnt know anything , but she knows everything, but never expected having sex with her ,well she was horny and that helped...but no one of us regretted that sex ever.. We still have sex from time to time ,and I started having sex with sex workers , joining threesomes..etc If u want pics of her text me.

After years of discussions, suggestions, ideas, books, and marriage counseling, our sex life dwindled to nothing, and my needs were left unmet.

Counselors and books always say that intimacy is a barometer of how a relationship is going overall. The problem was, my wife kept insisting how great our life and marriage were. We had a nice house, cars, our kids were in good schools—everything seemed fine on the surface. But to me, the lack of physical connection was a glaring deficiency. It wasn’t just about sex; it was about feeling wanted, needed, and loved.

There’s so much more to it, but that was the core issue that led me down the path I took. When I cheated, it wasn’t about love or forming relationships. It was purely for the physical release, the excitement, and the temporary escape from the frustration and rejection I felt at home.

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Everyone has their own definition of “physical needs” and how much intimacy is necessary to feel fulfilled. For me, I only needed intimacy about twice a month to feel satisfied and connected. But that didn’t happen. It stopped after the first year of marriage. By year six, I had enough. It felt like she had flipped a switch, turning off her desire completely. I started to believe that I had been tricked into marrying her, with sex as the bait. And now, it seemed, she had run out of it.

During this time, I started turning to porn and masturbation to cope with the lack of intimacy. Once, I even fell asleep afterward, spread out on our bed. My wife “caught” me and, instead of understanding, she scolded and humiliated me when I admitted what I had done. That felt like one of the final straws.